During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
