i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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