I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
