She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
A bitchslap is in order.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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