Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
