he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize