Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize