we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
