yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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