I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
