She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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