Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
