im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
