Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
