Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
