she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
