Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
