She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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