everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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