Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
