that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
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He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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