You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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