for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize