dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize