Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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