You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
