Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize