i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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