so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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