i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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