At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
