after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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