The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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