Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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