ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
