It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Randomize
