Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty

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  (609): i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty http://tfl.nu/sjep
  Replies (6) Good night (2600) Bad night (528) Order T-Shirt
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  (779): View more from Illinois

  Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.

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  (779): Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me. http://tfl.nu/6ngm
  Replies (6) Good night (2732) Bad night (599) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.

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  (616): our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time. http://tfl.nu/fvgl
  Replies (13) Good night (6278) Bad night (876)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.

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  (410): There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to. http://tfl.nu/sxdr
  Replies (17) Good night (1156) Bad night (5603) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..

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  (615): it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex.. http://tfl.nu/6q5t
  Replies (14) Good night (925) Bad night (3113) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew

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  (727): Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew http://tfl.nu/e4qx
  Replies (6) Good night (2327) Bad night (866) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.

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  (214): Why does it always end up with me crying in my car. http://tfl.nu/bhj2
  Replies (10) Good night (530) Bad night (2945) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.

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  (614): And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts. http://tfl.nu/c0eu
  Replies (5) Good night (950) Bad night (2307) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.

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  (828): Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog. http://tfl.nu/3nqo
  Replies (4) Good night (2046) Bad night (683) Order T-Shirt
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  (544): View more from

  I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.

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  (544): I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling. http://tfl.nu/vpgy
  Replies (10) Good night (1565) Bad night (654) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.

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  (402): I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack. http://tfl.nu/jydf
  Replies (6) Good night (2436) Bad night (388) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,

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  (302): Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers, http://tfl.nu/ct0l
  Replies (2) Good night (383) Bad night (806) Order T-Shirt
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.

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  (469): I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess. http://tfl.nu/eyc8
  Replies (3) Good night (910) Bad night (341) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?

  (1-608): View more from Wisconsin

  Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat

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  (608): Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles? (1-608): Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat http://tfl.nu/wmfp
  Replies (3) Good night (557) Bad night (266) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."

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  (207): Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever." http://tfl.nu/4u45
  Replies (9) Good night (1187) Bad night (167) Order T-Shirt

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