i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone