Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.