i think i have two assholes
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize