Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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