Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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