i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
