I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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