If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
