Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
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Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made out with another girl for some wings
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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