there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
