What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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