with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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