Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
