sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
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I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
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Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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