just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize