How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
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Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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