a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
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