I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
did you just send me my own nude
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
