Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
