now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
