Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
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