absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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