If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize