:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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