i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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